And it was all Yellow...

Wednesday 4th November. I woke up feeling rough. Not rough like sniffly, stuffy nose rough; rough like I couldn't move.

The lovely physios came round to see me quite early and I said that I really didn't feel like getting out of bed and that I had probably overdone it the day before by spending most of the day sitting out of bed and walking around. From my experience of these physios, they usually do quite a bit of encouragement to try and get patients out of bed, particularly if they've already shown signs of being quite mobile. On this occasion though, they were quick to agree and said they would drop by later in the day to see how I was getting on. I was completely and utterly zonked. The doctors came round as usual and took bloods. I managed to sit up a bit and watch something on my iPad but I think i kept drifting off. 

At some point during the morning, the doctors started taking about a biopsy and trying to fit me in that day. To my knowledge, it wasn't unusual for a biopsy to be requested. I started to hear mutterings of slight concern. My bloods results were doing well on the whole but my bilirubin had taken a large spike which was a bit unusual as usually all of the liver function tests go awry if there's a problem. 

At one point the student nurse came round to see me. She was a great laugh- she seemed a little bit scatty and was always very talkative. She came round and dropped a bit of a bombshell. There had been a lot of fussing up to this point but I though this was completely normal until she told me that everyone was really worried about me. She then told me that I was looking very yellow... I hadn't been up to moving around so hadn't even seen myself in the mirror up to this point. Then I panicked. I took a picture of my eye to see how yellow I was and it wasn't a great result.

I've seen worse but a week after transplant, I was certainly hoping for much better than that!

I can't quite remember what order the rest of the day happened in. I know I reluctantly had some lunch. After lunch, I had visitors. The wonderful Sarah who I haven't seen for years but went to university with came to say hi. We had a really lovely catch up but the poor girl spent most of the time crying. I think this happened before I'd taken the photo of my eye as I didn't realise myself how bad I looked. Caius was being careful not to overload me with people and had a coffee with Abi whilst Sarah was with me. Once Sarah had gone to work, Abi and Caius came up and I decided to show off by walking myself to the toilet and back. As I came back, one of my drain bags must have overfilled and it leaked all down my leg, soaking my gown and leaving a very embarrassing puddle on the floor. I felt completely humiliated and burst into tears. I was exhausted from just a short walk and was now covered in nasty drain fluid and standing in the middle of the ward. Thankfully, the lovely nurses were on hand to clean me up and get me back into bed and Caius and Abi were good enough to have a little wander whilst I was being cleaned up.

They got back and I enjoyed more catching up. Abi had travelled from York to London to come and visit and had arranged to stay for a night at her parents so she could check up on me again.

I also had a visit from the delightful little Katie who will always and forever be, little Katie. She's like a little sister to me and I have watched her grow from the girl who stood on tables in cafes to sing to everyone, to a beautiful, confident young woman who is finding her place in the big city. 

I seem to remember that it was also on this day that I took my first look at my wound. The surgical team had been checking on it daily but I hadn't yet had the courage to take a look. Surrounded by friends, I decided it was time! It was a shock but i was also fascinated by it. I had been stapled up so there was something very Frankenstein-y about it. Looking at it, I couldn't quite believe that it was the same body from a week before.

The bruising across my lower abdomen had been there for some time and was caused by my insulin injections. The round thing on either side were my drain bags. When major surgery takes place, a lot of fluid is put into the body and needs to come out somehow... in this picture, I have recently had fresh, clean bags attached.

I think it was after dinner that I was taken off for my biopsy. Having heard mutterings all day about it with some debate as to whether it would take place on this day or the next morning, everything then seemed to happen very quickly. I was taken off and prepped for the op and started to panic. I'm not good with needles or surgery and get quite anxious about procedures. I usually request sedation and did so at this point. They told me that because I had dated recently, I wouldn't be able to have sedation as it would be dangerous. I sobbed and begged and sobbed some more. One of the team came down to see me and told me how important it was for me to have the biopsy done as soon as possible. It was at this point that I realised the seriousness of the situation. The team were concerned that I was rejecting and would need to treat this as soon as they possibly could which meant finding out what was wrong as soon as possible. They had been working hard all day to find a slot for me and this was it, they really couldn't wait another day!

The biopsy didn't take long and I will try to write a detailed separate post about it.

Once back, I had my family around me and I could see there was concern. I was very jaundiced and definitely not as perky as I had been the day before. However, I still managed to smile and have some silly time...

Getting into the Christmas Spirit with the reindeer antlers from Mumma!

This probably shows the extent of the yellowing a little better... yes, I really was that shiny, kind of like a lemon really!

The docs came back later that day and although they didn't yet have the biopsy results, they were keen to treat me for rejection. This meant 3 high doses of IV steroid over 3 days with the first dose to be given that night. I was warned that I was in for a rough night. The steroids would most likely keep me awake, make me hyper-active and probably hungry. They weren't wrong...

Keep Smiling :)