Unknown Number

When 'unknown number' flashes up on the phone there are often a few different reactions that could run through a person's mind.

Should I answer?
Is it a cold call?
It might be important!
It could be my parents...

for me, especially since a false alarm call in September, 'Unknown Number' sent my heart to my throat pounding at a million beats a second. 

It could be another call. 

I'd had a few 'Unknown Number' calls since the first false alarm and most had provoked this reaction. Mostly, they were calls from the hospital arranging appointments or calls from my parents who have a withheld phone number!

At 00:02 on 29th October 2015, my phone buzzed under my pillow. 

Unknown Number.

There was no doubt about this one. 

I answered as calmly as I could, trying to sound as normal as possible. Obviously receiving a potentially life-changing call in the middle of the night requires utmost normality. I listened to the familiar, calming voice at the other end telling me that there could be a match and I needed too get myself ready. I would get another call shortly to let me know how long the ambulance would be. 

I phoned Mum and Dad. Dad answered. 

'Take two', I said.

'Take two what?' was the response... I made it a bit clearer. Dad had just come in from the pub from his guitar club night. Given that the false alarm call had seemed pretty relaxed and had taken over 8 hours from phone call to being sent home, Mum and Dad chose to get some sleep before making their way up.

The transplant co-ordinator called back to say that the ambulance would be with us in an hour and a half. I had a bath, took my time, tided the house and made an attempt to relax. 

Fast forward a few hours and Caius and I are at the Royal Free. Mum and Dad are on the way. 

Keeping warm in Caius' Gilet

I spend most of the time telling myself and Caius that it's not going to happen but somehow things are different this time. We go through the same process of getting into the hospital gown, ECG, chest X-ray, blood tests (17 vials!), cannula. It took us a little longer to get to the hospital this time so the fact that things are moving a bit quicker doesn't seem to indicate much. They tell me I'll be going down at around 7am. Mum and Dad aren't that close but given that it's almost 7, it doesn't feel like I'll be in surgery soon. I'm given some temazepam (a tranquilliser) to calm the nerves. It sends me funny and then to sleep. It's gone 7 and people are talking about 8am being staff changeover time so I'll be heading down near then. Mum and Dad are close. They're nearly here. It's almost 8am and the bed is being wheeled somewhere. Caius is with me holding my hand. I think I was a bit teary by this point. I told Caius to tell Mum not to feel guilty for not making it. I loved them all and would see them soon.

Temazepam induced strangeness!

There were nurses beside me now, holding my hand and comforting me. Caius was there and the doors to theatre were opened. The bed was wheeled in and I had tears falling silently down my cheeks. I was terrified by this point. It was really happening. 10 to 14 hours of surgery lay ahead and who knew what would happen during or after that surgery.

I was slid onto a different bed for surgery. I was hooked up to a few monitors and the anaesthetic was given. Someone held and stroked my hand and comforted me the whole time, reassuring me that everything would be ok. I was asleep.

My pre-surgery tummy...

Just Keep Swimming...

Wednesday 28th October was a pretty good day.

I was off sick recovering from the latest bout of cholecystitis and had decided to take the specialist nurse's advice and go for a gentle swim. I treated myself and went to Hengrove Leisure Park which boasts a lovely pool and also a spa with jacuzzi, steam room and sauna. 

I'd been expecting to pay quite a lot for the combination of a swim and spa but was pleasantly surprised :)

I got myself changed ready to hop into the pool and pulled the box that kept my goggles in from my bag. Now, I am a bit short-sighted. I say a bit. I'm very short-sighted. Once I have put my glasses down, I need someone else to find them. Everything goes super fuzzy and I start walking a bit funny and very slowly so as not to bump into anything. Because of this, I have prescription goggles so I don't end up causing a pile up in the pool. On this day, I pulled my goggle box out of the bag to find it  ... empty! Nooo! I rummaged through the bag and found Cauis' goggles. Nope, don't want those, throw them back in. Rummage again - Cauis' goggles. Calmed down and put the bag on the seat and looked through sensibly. There were definitely two pairs of goggles in the bag and an empty box. Both pairs of goggles belonged to Caius. I braved it and went round to the pool in my glasses with Caius' goggles. It's difficult to explain how weird it is to see things so unclearly. I made my way to the pool and sunk into the slow lane which was nice and wide and there weren't too many people in it. After the first length though, it was clear that the few who were in the lane had no idea how to use lanes for swimming. They were swimming sort of side by side and instead of going up one side and down the other, they were happily taking up the whole lane. This was not going to end well for me as I couldn't see anyone until they were pretty much right on top of me! Thankfully another lane had cleared and was empty but for one person. 

As a youngster, I loved swimming and was pretty good. I trained regularly and competed at regional level. During my initial diagnosis, I was forced to stop training as I was too exhausted. Despite this, whenever I get into a pool with lanes, I get the urge to swim fast. I want to push myself in the pool and each time I want to improve on what I did the time before - a few more lengths in a little less time. Today however, I really had to calm myself down. I was here to granny swim. I always give myself a goal when I go swimming; either a number of lengths or an amount of time. Today it was 30 lengths. On a good day, I could have got through this in probably under 25 mins. On this particular day, it took me 40! But, I had achieved something. I'd got some exercise and felt really good about it. I then thoroughly enjoyed myself by relaxing in the spa. 

This kind of day is something that I would thoroughly recommend to anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation. Swimming is a very therapeutic form of exercise. The warmth and support of the water is beautifully relaxing, especially if you do take the swimming slowly and gently. (The spa afterwards is definitely worthwhile too!)

I spent the rest of the day relaxing and taking it easy yet still found myself pretty knackered at the end of the day. I creaked into bed and once more whimpered my hopes that my phone would ring soon.